Tips For Letting Go Of Things You Can’t Control

If you feel struggling to control things that are beyond you, you know how it feels to want to control all aspects of your life but you just can’t. We all must learn to relinquish control when things are beyond our power. There are many techniques to learning to surrender and accept what you simply can’t control.

Identify Exactly Your Fear

The need to keep control is almost always rooted in fear. You know how it goes: you start to imagine how things will go if you don’t stay in control. The fear kicks in, and then so does the wish to stay in control. You want to avoid the horrible ending you’ve envisioned. Once you find what you fear, you can let go of the preservation tactic of control.

Recognize What You Can Control

When you feel your life spiraling away from you, remember that there are some things you can control. Even if it’s something very small, focusing on that aspect of your situation can calm you so you can regain perspective. Then, it becomes easier to relinquish control over things that really aren’t in your hands. Focus on what you personally can do, and how you can make changes. This will help you move beyond feeling like a victim so you’re empowered to act. A psychic reading online can help you pinpoint your strengths.

What Will Be The Outcome if You Let Go

Once you know what’s sparking your fear, stop to question whether that fear is valid. Is your fear true? For example, if you fear that your husband forgetting to pick up spinach will ruin your day, take a moment to think what will happen if you don’t remind him for the tenth time. Will the day really be a disaster, and what’s your definition of disaster anyway?

Be Mindful

Take a deep breath. You feel better, don’t you? Exercise mindfulness to experience life in each moment. It helps you deal with the situation without judgment or criticism. You don’t have to get caught up in feeling unpleasant. Step back, relax, and pay attention to your natural breathing to avoid brooding. A psychic phone reading can help you see a situation clearly. Just being aware of a situation can help you to simplify and figure out how best to act.

Let Go

Once you’ve put things into perspective and started to live in the moment, you can take the greatest step of them all. Letting go. Stop fighting with yourself, with the natural order of the world, and what’s meant to happen. There’s not reason to fight reality. If you notice you’re in your mindset of trying to keep control, deliberately and consciously choose to shift your energy into surrendering. Not fighting often leads to better results. Does letting go feel freeing? In almost all cases, it does. Some things are just beyond our control. Once you start to accept this reality, you can let go and accept what’s beyond your control, and in doing so, regain a sense of peace.

Learn How to Cast Love Spell and Casts Them Effectively!

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In this article you will learn how to cast love spell and casts them effectively. Spell is a series of incantations and rituals done to create a specific outcome. Spell started with the Ancient Egyptians. It started when they wrote the book called, The Book of The Dead, which tells about incantations and rituals about burying the dead. It was believed that it was done for their dead bodies to be preserved as well the wisdom, knowledge of their pharaohs and queens. It is said that magic, spell casting, medicine, architecture and even technology stems originates from ancient Egyptian civilization.

Spell casting is hard now days because we are so removed from nature.

I like to think of a spell as the music or sound that shapes the earth. In The Bible, God says, “let there be light, and there is light.” We as individuals can do the same thing, but it has gotten a little bit complicated because we no longer understand the mechanics and inner workings of nature. There are have been a lot of movements throughout the last couple of years that have introduced the West to native and traditional practices such as the Chakra System, The Meridian system and rebirth of shamanism and paganism. However, information is very cryptic and difficult to understand for a novice user.

Casting a spell is like cooking a three-course meal.

I like to tell people that casting a spell is like cooking and preparing a meal. First, you have your basics such as; potatoes, rice, and flour. Then, you have your seasoning, salt, pepper, paprika etc. Then, you need to find the right utensils to cook your food in such as; pots, pans, and saucers. Of course, you need electrical tools to prepare the food, blender, processors, and an electrical knife. And we cannot forget the food itself, we need to make sure that is properly thawed, that it is cooked just right, and the meat is free from bacteria. It sounds like a lot. However, we do it everyday without thinking about it, simply because we understand through time and repetition how to make our favorite meals. The same concept should apply to spell casting.

Spell casting is both and art and a science.

In spells, your basics are herbs, candles, and incantations. Your spices are oils, incense, and flowers, and your tools are brooms, cauldrons, altars, and knives. Naturally, the elements that you use to prepare the foods are fire, to make the food hot, and burn away harmful bacteria. We can also use water in spell casting to add moisture for a more succulent flavor or taste. We can use the earth element of fruits and vegetables, and lastly the earth element of air to freeze or chill our foods so we can eat them at a certain temperature. Now, we understand that we don’t heat up ice cream, because it will melt. We also don’t eat pork chops until they are thawed and properly cooked.

We’ve learned through experience that there are certain rules and rituals that surround our food preparation and eating habits.

There is a reason why the cauldron is known as the symbol or sigil of the modern witch. It is not because most witches were women. Rather, it was because traditional pagans understood that spell casting consisted of a series of rules and rituals, much like the preparation of a big meal. These spells are rituals that a person must repeat habitually overtime, in order for them to be perfected. So, as you can see, this whole process is very complicated. There are thousands of spells with different variations. This is perhaps why the one size fits all spells don’t tend to work well. You may not be compatible with different forms of energies, herbs, tools, or deities. In essence, the best way to cast a spell is to know yourself. You need to understand which elements of nature you can work closely with, and which deities you resonate with the most. Then, you will be able to design custom spells that meet your needs.

How Do Love Spells Work?

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Love Spells is one of the world’s ancient religion, like way back thousands of years to Africa. Most of the struggles in your life that you undergo are basically, part of your divine plan, karmically designed to develop your soul, no matter how hard or painful some of these situations may be.

However, God hasn’t left you stranded – I promise, God has created amazing Spirits who intervene in very specific areas of human need and these divine messengers and helpers are collectively known as the Lwa, Loas, Orishas, Nkisis, Invisibles or Mysteries along with the divine intervention from all of our ancestors, those we have known and those we have never known, who have come long before us, guiding us throughout our journey here on Earth. It is through the help of these amazing spiritual entities and our beloved ancestors that much can be altered, avoided, enhanced and improved in your life on every level. This is why reverence, honor and representations of these powerful spiritual energies are always displayed in the homes and work places of Voodoo Practitioners.

This of course, is a brief and cursory overview of a very complex, multi-faceted spiritual belief system, but this ancient religion would not have survived thousands years without being empowering. Simply stated, Voudou absolutely works, not only the magical aspect, but also to keep you connected to spirit, grounded, protected and enlightened. The magical aspect of the religion is very effective in changing a very difficult situation, repairing love relationships, protecting you from ill-will or harmful people, healing you from a past traumas, opening up doors of opportunity in your life, putting you on your correct path, just to name a few out the endless areas the Lwa (Loa) assist you.

Most situations can be changed, altered or greatly improved, providing it does not alter certain karmic lessons you have to learn or endure here on Earth. For an example, in the case of bringing a lover back, if it is your lover’s karma to be with someone else who is to provide certain lessons instead of you, then no, the Lwa (Loas) will not interfere or alter that Karmic lesson. Again, this is a very simplistic example on this topic for conceptual purposes only.

Most often, people want to know “when will I get everything I want?” “When will this work?” or variations of questions along those lines. While we are very sympathetic to those in extremely difficult, painful and challenging situations and do understand the anxiety behind their questions, the fact of the matter is: there is no simple, magic bullet to fix everything.

As I’m sure we can all agree, humans are usually their worst enemy and often do not want to make the difficult choices and sacrifices to position their lives in a better or more positive environment. We are not so good at change are we? Time frames for improvement or resolution on any matter hinge greatly on your willingness to recognize your contributions to the problem, your poor choices or poor behavioral habits and, your willingness to move past these impediments. Many of the other issues the Lwa, (Loas) will intervene and help maneuver out of your way or in your favor. Typically, ritual results range between 80-90% success rates, however, they do not just hand you your wish, (if only it were that easy) you must put a lot of work, energy, focus and gratitude into your request. Often, ritual results can take a great deal of time as well; the Lwa work in their own time frame, however, most see movement in their lives, results and often, a resolution within 20-60 days after completion of the ritual or spiritual work. In my experience, your commitment to your spiritual work, evolution and faith expedites your resolution on any situation.

Is Your Relationship Stagnant?

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It’s normal to feel anxious at certain focuses in your life, and it’s human instinct to long for the need to enhance yourself, your circumstance and your relationships. With regards to relationships, there will dependably be a rhythmic movement. Anxiety is typical. The craving to need to change and enhance your relationship is ordinary. Yet, you have to know yourself well so as to roll out the right improvements at the right times.

Personal Development

Where you are in terms of your personal growth effects every aspect of your relationship. If you haven’t developed yourself sufficiently, you can hardly navigate a long-term relationship without major issues such as doubt, fear and restlessness. Without personal development, you cannot know yourself well enough to know what you need, what you can give, what you are looking for and what you are willing to do to obtain it.

If a lack of life experience or internal work exists in either one of you, there isn’t much you can do to correct this short of deciding you truly want to mature and are willing to push and challenge yourself (and each other) to get there. This includes owning up to short-comings and working on bettering yourself as a person and a partner. However, accomplishing these goals requires patience, understanding and commitment. You’re going to feel restlessness throughout this process.

Commitment

This oft over-used word actually holds deep meaning. Committing your time, your heart and your life to someone is about as profound as it gets. Sometimes this intensity can be scary. You must constantly consider the other person and make compromises, all the while being extremely vulnerable to them. It often means choosing them over time spent with others, over things that don’t benefit you as a couple and even over your needs should their needs be greater. In a healthy relationship this “giving behavior” is equally reciprocated, creating a positive partnership.

Should one of you feel restless due to commitment issues, you need to take a better look at the bigger picture. If either of you still wonders if there could be “another” out there better suited to you, or if you have overwhelming fears of being vulnerable, you need to talk things over. Either you can work through those fears and doubts, or you need to move on.

Progression

A relationship must grow and develop in order to thrive. If things have become stagnant, one or both of you may start to feel restless. You need to change things up and move forward if you want to stay together. This could mean moving in together, getting married and even having children (if that’s a goal you both share). It could mean improving yourselves as individuals too.

Feelings of restlessness need to be addressed, rather than ignored. Get on the same page sooner, rather than later. The future of your relationship depends on it!

Overcoming Cold Spell in a Relationship

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Warming Up After a Cold Spell

Whether a couple has been in a relationship for many years or just a few days, cold spells will hit them and no one is exempted from it. It is part of life. It usually occurs when one backs away and lay low from romance and affection. Are you in that position now and makes you worry?

The good news is that this behavior doesn’t mean your relationship is going down the drain. Know that there are ebbs and flows in good relationships and a cold spell is an indication of an ebb. The hard part is sticking it out and it’s nothing short of magic!

Musical Chairs

With 52% of marriages ending in divorce and the average length of a relationship being between two and three years, you have to wonder what’s going on. Relationships have become like a game of musical chairs!

Couples go through cold spells, but if they don’t work through them, they break up. But in doing so, some people end up breaking up with soulmates because they lack patience and understanding. I don’t want to see that happen!

There are a few reasons why couples experience a cold spell.

Cheating

One of the first things that come to mind when going through a relationship cold spell is that perhaps the partner is backing away because they’re cheating. That’s not always the case. Sometimes your partner is having more fun in your head than in real life! But if they are cheating, there are several ways to tell. Suspicion isn’t enough.

Addiction

Sometimes a cold spell occurs because one partner is trying to cover up an addiction. This is a tough place to be in and I have definitely had my share of callers experiencing this. But there is help out there for both people, whether they decide to stick with the relationship or not.

Money

Money issues can cause cold spells, whether you have too much or too little. Sometimes a partner gets an inheritance and would rather spend their money on themselves, refusing to share a cent with their partner. Other times, job loss can cause a cold spell because the couple can no longer enjoy the life they’ve become accustomed to.

New Friends, Old Friends

When a partner gets a new hobby or a new job, they also meet new people with shared interests. They start spending a lot of time together. This can cause a cold spell. When old friends come back into the picture there is a lot to catch up on. This can also cause a cold spell.

Changes in Routine

Has your partner started a new fitness routine? Have you started a new job with new hours? Any time your schedules get shaken up there’s the potential for a cold spell. Any kind of change can cause a cold spell in a relationship, whether the changes are for better or worse.

Talk it Out

Talk to your partner before you decide to throw in the towel. Tell them how the cold spell is making you feel. They may not know what kind of impact it’s had on you and if they don’t know how you feel, they can’t do anything to make you feel better.

Most importantly, know that most cold spells are temporary. Stop worrying that your relationship is coming to an end, because chances are, it isn’t. But if you’re having a hard time figuring things out and getting through it, I can help.

Changing the Way You Love By Using Your Heart Chakra

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Are your experiencing tough times with your relationships? Is it safe to say that you are feeling over the top and clingy about your crush? Your heart chakra might not be in good condition, as indicated by energy healers.

Definition of Heart Chakra

Deep in the center of your chest is a glowing, green orb of energy called your heart chakra. At least, that’s what practitioners of energy healing, an Eastern tradition, believe. The heart chakra is one of the body’s seven natural energetic junctions, points where your life force is extra concentrated. Each chakra rules the surrounding organs and a host of spiritual functions—the throat chakra, for example, energizes the vocal cords and airways, but it also supports our metaphorical voice. An energy healer who is working with a client who struggles to speak up, or who can’t stop dominating conversations, would give her throat chakra extra attention. The heart chakra is associated with cardiovascular health but also our ability to give and receive love freely.

What does it feels like to have a compromised chakra?

Because everyone’s energy profile is different, there’s no absolute rule to tell that your heart chakra is in need of a tune-up. But there are a few signs. For example, your chakra might be clouded or compressed if you’ve been experiencing:

Feeling tense and impatient with the people you love, even after you’ve had alone time to recharge.
Being especially critical of yourself and others.
Self-loathing and incessant negative self-talk. (“I’m just the worst, no one will love me.”)
Self-destructive behaviors, like reverting to addictive on-again, off-again relationships.
An inability to feel happy for your friend or partner’s achievements.

Sometimes, the opposite problem can occur—you might have a bloated, inflamed heart chakra if you’ve noticed:

Unrelenting obsession over a love interest that starts to interfere with your other relationships and work.
“Stalking” behaviors, like frequently checking up on other people’s Facebook pages or sending heaps of text messages to people who don’t answer.
All-or-nothing feelings. (“If we break up, I have nothing!”)

Challenging Your Heart Chakra

There’s a quick and easy way to give your heart chakra a check-up. Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes, and imagine a sphere of green energy in the center of your chest. Focus on it without trying to change what you observe. What hue of green do you see? Is it as vibrant as a freshly mowed golf course, or does it look sickly? Does it feel tight and cramped, or sore, or open and relaxed? If your chakra doesn’t feel comfortable and bright, it could use a little work.

How to Balance Your Heart Chakra

Energy healers know that there are lots of ways to bring a wayward heart chakra back into alignment. What works best will vary from person to person, so consider trying a few approaches:

Visualize white light from the universe entering your heart chakra and revitalizing it. Can you feel it soften and spin? In the world of energy work, simply imagining change can have real effects.
Certainyoga posesthat stretch and relax the muscles of the chest can open a clouded heart chakra. The camel and cobra poses are two such exercises, and you can do them at home or with a yoga instructor.
Jasmine is the scent associated with the heart chakra, so take a quiet break with a cup of jasmine tea or light some incense in your home.
Loving-kindness meditation can heal a heart chakra from the inside. This Buddhist practice is performed by reciting a mantra: “May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe.” You might visualize being surrounded by warm, loving energy, too. After you’ve meditated on self-compassion, consider going a step further—recite the mantra for someone you care about.
Get your emotions out. Often, a compromised heart chakra is a result of feelings that haven’t been expressed. Write them down, draw a picture, or share them with a good friend.
Exercise! No, it doesn’t have to be heart-pumping cardio aerobics. But any exercise, from a walk to rock climbing to swimming, will shake up the tension in your body. Plus, it’s something you’re doing for yourself—an act of self-compassion.
Are you clinging to a grudge? Are you stuck replaying a past hurt on an endless loop? Moving on is a conscious choice, but refusing to take the path of peace can hurt you in all sorts of subtle ways. Even if you’re not okay with what went down, you can forgive. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person; it’s for yourself.
Consciously step away from relationships and habits that are addictive and painful. Decide on your boundaries and stick to them. That means that, while you can’t stop someone from stringing you along in love, you can choose not to engage in games that leave you (and your heart chakra) drained.

Your heart chakra is what gives your life warmth and love. That’s why it pays to take care of it. Even if yours isn’t in crisis, it’s wise to check in periodically and tune up with meditation, visualization, and self-care.

The Benefits of Love Crystal

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The universe is built on the foundation of LOVE. It is our utmost priority and indeed has the most powerful energy of all. Using your love crystal can help you create positive and sacred relationships. They can also help break down many obstacles of our relationship—whether if the barrier is from our past horrible experiences, exceeding expectations, lack of self-esteem or even fear from hurting or even losing someone. By using a personal love crystal, it will open your heart to invite more love energy into your life.

Your love crystal can help you overcome the two greatest, yet simplest obstacles of all: loving yourself and your ability to love. Unless you fully love yourself, have self-esteem and have self-worth, it is hard to attract someone who truly loves and respects you. You just won’t be giving out the right “vibes” and you want to attract someone who is deserving of your love. Regarding the ability to love, can you open your heart? In order to have a lover, you need to be a lover. Your love crystal will help to open your heart while attracting a little relationship luck, if you will.

There are many different love crystals — think pink and green stones. When choosing which of the crystals for love is right for you, you want to choose the one that you feel most drawn to because that one will be the most beneficial for you. Remember that everyone is different, and you must trust your intuition.

We find that the most powerful crystals for love are Rose Quartz, Malachite, Aventurine and Green Jade. Rose Quartz is one of our favorite crystals to use for all matters of love. Whether you are looking to attract love, rekindle the romance or heal from a broken heart, Rose Quartz is for you as it is holds the strongest love energy. Malachite is another powerful love crystal as it stimulates and balances the heart chakra. It carries an inspiring and purifying healing energy that opens your heart to all types of love. Both pink and green Aventurine are powerful heart chakra stones. They fill your heart with love, optimism and happiness. Green Jade attracts love, romance and harmonious relationships. It is an abundance stone that also helps to harmonize your heart chakra.

Although not typically thought of as one of the crystals for love, some people also like to use Amethyst as their love crystal. Traditionally, amethyst was exchanged between lovers as a sign of commitment. It is also particularly beneficial for anyone who seems to choose the wrong type of lover in the past, as it diminishes addictive behaviors and tendencies. Amazonite is another love crystal you can use, as it reinforces trust and facilitates clear communication in your relationships.

When it comes to how to use rose quartz and your other love crystals, we have found that the most powerful way it to meditate with it directly on your heart. When you place your love crystal directly on your heart, the beauty and energy of your crystal speaks to your heart—you will feel its energy immediately. Try doing this visualization with your love crystals to attract the type of love you want to bring into your life.

Before this visualization, be honest and ask yourself what type of love are you truly looking for? Do you truly want to attract a lover? Maybe you want to have a little more, trust, enjoyment and fun in your life. Are you creating the block when it comes to love? Try and sort out exactly what you really want—it may help to write them down.
Lie down in a place where you will not be disturbed and you feel comfortable. Place your love crystal on your heart. Breathe steadily and allow yourself to feel relaxed, calm and peaceful.
Now feel a glowing starting in your chest, where your crystal is. Regardless of the color of your crystal, visualize this glow as wonderful pink and green shimmering. Feel this glow extending and expanding outwards into the world. Feel love for all things—all the plants, all the animals, all the people on the Earth. Visualize things that are beautiful to you—majestic trees, gorgeous sunsets, blossoms, sunshine, ocean waves—and feel your heart fill with joy.
Visualize yourself living with the sort of love you wish to attract—whether it is a new relationship, more love in a current one, or fully loving yourself. See yourself happy and love-filled.
When you are ready to come back, ground yourself by closing down your subtle senses. Imagine your heart closing like the petals of a flower. Gently open your eyes, making notes of any revelations you may have had. Remove your love crystal, and cleanse it. Place it in a prominent place in your bedroom, in your sacred space or on your alter.

Tarot Card Reading to Uncover a Cheating Lover?

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Every relationship undergoes a challenge to make it work. The longer your relationship are the more likely it is that the passion and the chemistry that once drew you together will turn into a zone of comfort. It’s not surprising at all to hit a bump in the road in your journey together that can lead to unfaithfulness. There are all sorts of reasons why people cheat and all sorts of justification.

If all you and your lover have in common is physical attraction, chances are, once that fire dies down, one of you will be ready to move on sooner than the other. While finding the next new thing while you’re still in a relationship is certainly cheating, it’s often used as the impetus for ending something you haven’t really invested all that much in, and don’t particularly care about in the long term. People who behave in this manner probably know that it’s not the most honorable route, but are willing to defer to expediency over conscience, and when it does happen, neither party is likely to be all that surprised.

On the other hand, if you share more than physical attraction with your lover, a bond can mature over time into something truly profound. When someone you are deeply committed to cheats, it can shatter your world and demolish your self-esteem. Of course, there are usually signs that someone is being unfaithful, but love does have a way of making us blind.

The “Perfect” Couple

Sarah and Ryan had been together for seven years prior to getting married. While Sarah came from a well-to-do, upper-middle-class background, and Ryan was raised “on the wrong side of the tracks,” for Sarah, it had been love at first sight. They met over the pool table of a pub near Sarah’s college campus. Ryan had been working construction nearby, and stopped in with some friends for a few beers after his shift.

Sarah wasn’t his usual buxom, good-time type. She was pretty, but in a slight, bookish way. Still, by the end of the evening, he found he really enjoyed talking with her, and was able to tell her things he couldn’t tell anyone else. He’d always been ribbed for being the “smart one” in his family, preferring books to sports. He even told her about his dream of becoming an architect, but education wasn’t in the cards for him — or was it?

Sarah knew instantly that she’d found a diamond in the rough, and she decided then and there to take Ryan’s fate into her own hands, casting herself as Henry Higgins to his Eliza Doolittle, not realizing the full repercussions this role reversal would eventually have. While the Pygmalion Effect has proven a positive force in education, when applied to romance, the results can backfire.

Ryan had gotten better than good grades in high school, and she encouraged him to enroll in college. She helped him apply for a scholarship, which he got. After their first year together, Sarah’s parents saw she was serious, and decided to make an investment in their future son-in-law by footing the bill for the rest of his education.

Ryan loved Sarah because she could see more in him than anyone else ever had, and believed he could actually become something. He was grateful to her, and could not imagine what would have become of him had she not intervened in his destiny. They were on a path that would take them toward the kind of life that each had always hoped for, so no one was more surprised than Ryan himself when he was suddenly faced with a detour.

Trouble in Paradise

When Sarah came to me for a reading, she wasn’t sure that Ryan was cheating, but she could sense there was something different in his behavior. He wasn’t ignoring her or showing signs of dissatisfaction. If anything, he was even more solicitous than usual. Sarah couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew something was wrong. She didn’t have any evidence to confront Ryan with, only a vague feeling.

Rather than a traditional reading, I suggested she concentrate on Ryan, and we’d pull a few cards to see what came up. “First let’s focus on when you met,” I told her. After shuffling the cards, I fanned them out so she could pick one. She handed me the Two of Cups, which indicated that the relationship she’d built with Ryan was had been based on solid ground and mutual interest.

I asked her to concentrate on how the relationship had developed while I shuffled the cards again. This time, she chose the Queen of Swords, which to me indicated that by narrowing her focus to concentrate on Ryan’s metamorphosis from workman to craftsman, her role had perhaps evolved into more of a benevolent taskmaster than a love interest or soul mate.

Next, I asked her to concentrate on Ryan now. When she selected the Four of Cups, I had my suspicions that she might be right about him. While he might not actually be cheating on her, the cards seemed to indicate the opportunity had presented itself. “Let’s pull one for you.” She chose the Nine of Swords. “It feels like you’ve just woken from a nightmare, except you’re still not sure that it isn’t really happening?” Sarah nodded yes.

“All right, concentrate on the future,” I said. The Tower confirmed that if she and Ryan remained on their current trajectory, they were in for a major upheaval that might result in the end of their relationship. Sarah looked heart-stricken.

“Now,” I said, “let’s pull one more card to see what you try that can change that outcome.” The final card Sarah pulled was Strength.

“So, I have to just keep things in control and everything is going to work out fine?” she asked.

“In a manner of speaking,” I explained, “but what’s more important than being in control of things is the way you control things. You have Ryan’s best interests at heart, but you’re so afraid that he might fail, you hold him back from really stretching his wings. As much as he loves you, at some point he will resent you for that, and may have already found someone who doesn’t make him feel that he’s always got to perform, and that his every action doesn’t have to ‘lead to the next level.’ Being strong doesn’t mean being rigid, Sarah, it means knowing when to bend. Does that make sense?”

Sarah nodded her head. The reading had given her a lot to think about.

Begin With Changing Yourself

When she got home, rather than accuse or question Ryan, Sarah began to modify her own behavior. Instead of remaining a micromanager, she worked at transforming herself into someone who loved her husband not by controlling him, but by supported his efforts, rejoicing in his victories, and letting him find his own path. She tried her best to make him feel that their relationship was a journey, not a never ending to-do list.

The next time I saw her, Sarah told me things weren’t perfect, but they had improved tremendously. She and Ryan had gone into counseling after Ryan finally admitted that he’d met someone who lived in the moment, not for the future, whose spontaneity and willingness to enjoy him for who he was rather than what he might become, had been momentarily intoxicating. He hadn’t crossed the line, but he’d definitely considered it.

“Concentrate on Strength,” I reminded her.

“I have been,” she said. “Learning to bend has been painful, but breaking up would have been so much worse.”

13 Most Common Secrets Men Hide From Women

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Did it ever happen to you to think after a big fight with your partner, that there must be quite a few secrets men hide from women? Well, you couldn’t be more right! Just like most women have some dirty little secrets they like to hide from everybody else, you must know that there are a few common secrets men hide from women. They aren’t so gifted at expressing themselves and that’s why they usually prefer not to bring into discussion some sensitive issues. But, that doesn’t mean those secrets don’t exist. Just read on and find out what your partner is hiding from you.

I Love You (He Loves You Not)

If you want to know how a man really feels about you, read his actions. In almost every relationship it is the man who spouts the L-word first, and on some occasions it is used to urge a women to have sex with him sooner.

The Little Things

Surveys suggest that 42 percent of the dings on your car that your guy has blamed on someone else were actually caused by his own carelessness. And in case you were wondering, no, he probably hasn’t changed his sheets for the last two months, according to most polls.

“Need to Know” Basis

Men are rarely completely truthful about their past relationships. Most men will tell you everything they “need” to, and keep the rest to themselves. However, this is not always a bad thing, considering that men do learn from their mistakes.

Money

Financial infidelity is a big topic. Polls suggest that the number-one reason men hide the contents of their inbox is because they don’t want their partner to see the confirmation e-mails for the things they’ve bought. In addition, the majority of men age 18 to 34 who are currently dealing with serious credit issues will not volunteer these problems unless you ask, and even then some will lie.

His Paycheck vs. Yours

While men are busy secretly spending their paycheck, they’re likely wishing their women were making a bigger one to compensate for it, according to surveys. There was a time when a man wanted his wife to maintain a small role in the financial health of the household. While many men still want to be the Tyrannosaurus Rex of money-making, over a quarter are secretly wishing their significant other made more than she currently does.

Curiosity Killed the Relationship

Would you really want to know what your guy has been Googling? According to most surveys, you would not! Eighteen percent of all men are actively erasing their logs and recent downloads just to ease their guilty conscience of the incriminating evidence they are leaving behind on their phone or PC.

His Wounds from Childhood

Almost every man harbors bad feelings from his childhood; many of these resulting from interactions with his father. But he’s not going to volunteer that information to his significant other, and even if she asks, he will probably water down the details.

His Happiness

Men know what women like to hear, and try to keep the status quo, regardless of how they really feel about the relationship. Use your Spidey senses ladies, as many men don’t start talking about their unhappiness, until it is already too late.

His Need to Vent

One in 10 men keep secrets about the amount of stuff they’re sharing with a close friend about your relationship. Everything from your sex to your worst habits may be known by his friends, but at least they can keep a secret better than you (theoretically).

He Wants to Get Married

Men fear marriage, like a caveman fears a saber-toothed tiger. However, secretly behind this fear, most men want to find love and commit to it. In fact, in a longitudinal study from the early 2000s, 47 percent of all men felt marriage was “very important,” and 19 percent of bachelors secretly wished they were hitched.

His Second Life

Surveys suggest that one in 20 men have a secret smart phone. Two-thirds of men choose not to share their PC passwords with their significant other, and of the ones who do, a portion keep a separate e-mail for flirty messages.

He Cheats

According to some surveys, over 50 percent of men have had sex with one other person while in a committed relationship, and nearly 15 percent admit to having relations with five or more. The good news is that he feels guilty about it.

He’s Happier than His Secrets Suggest

And now for the really good news. While all these secrets may give the impression that your relationship is in trouble, a Parade magazine survey suggests that the majority of men are quite happy in their existing relationships. So happy, in fact, that nearly 70% of men “never” think about leaving their wife, which is in contrast to the 50 percent of women who have thought about it more than once.

Are You in a Low-Maintenance Relationship?

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Our technologically propelled life impacts many aspects of our existence, including our concepts and language. We all know about the advantages of a low maintenance machines like cars, sound systems, computers, etc., but a “low maintenance relationship”? This term is not only used by some couples but is also believed to be a desirable state of relating.

So what is a “low maintenance relationship?” Well, it varies from speaker to speaker, but the theme is a relationship that requires little effort to maintain. How did we come up with the concept of “low maintenance” relationship and is it advantageous to have?

Perhaps it evolved from the distasteful description of some partners as too “high maintenance”. That often implies that the partner is too needy of material possessions, attention, affirmation, appreciation, and emotional or physical care. The label “high maintenance” implies unreasonable demands that are burdensome to the other mate.

Here are some of the quirks of being in a low-maintenance relationship.

When you have petty fights, you don’t make a fuss about it in public.
You would rather discuss your issues in private instead of showing everybody how you two settle an argument. Also, you don’t post parinig posts on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

You’re both easy to please.

While giving away grand things is nice, you save them for special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries because you find happiness in anything your partner does or gives you whether that’s big or small.

You don’t try to control each other’s actions and emotions.
You and your man can be your true selves whether you’re in public, at a family reunion, or when you’re alone with each other. You don’t try to change him just so he could fit in your world or lifestyle.

Not being able to talk to each other 24/7 is no big deal.
Because you both have your own lives to focus on and you’re not too dependent on your significant other just to be happy.
Date nights are usually spent at home.

And it’s okay! Because pizza, popcorn, your favorite movie, and cuddling in between the sheets are a lot better than being stuck in traffic for an expensive dinner.

There’s no need to show off to the world that you’re a couple.
You’re not worried about other people’s attention because you get enough validation and love from your partner.