Can we truly love two people at once, or will we unavoidably be abandoning one love for another? And if indeed we can love two people at once, are we shortchanging one or both of them by doing so?
Some people would deny that you can truly and fully love more than one person at a time. In their view, love represents a total devotion of one person—heart, soul, and body—to another, which implies that you can never love a second person without taking something away from the first. But this assumes that whatever you give when you love someone is limited or scarce, so that giving some (or more) to Jane or Joe means giving less to Janet or John. This may be true with some resources like time or money, but not as obviously true with respect to affection; after all, parents can have more than one child without loving any of them less, so why can’t a person romantically love more than one person?
Can you love two people at once?
There could be fools around you who say that love happens just once in a lifetime. They may also say you can’ t love two people romantically at the same time. That just isn’t true. Love is more interesting and dynamic than that.
Love Has Undergone Changes
In the past few years, love has undergone more changes than the Coke bottle. Nowadays, love has many forms and people are less bothered about getting the approval of others, whether they be friends, parents, family or society. That is a good thing. But the real challenge is to figure out what kind of person is right for you.
There will be times in your life when you’ll feel like you are with the wrong person. There will be times in your life when you’ll feel like you’ll never find the right person. There may be a time in your life when you love two people at once. If you do, consider this advice from celebrated actor Johnny Depp, “If you love to people at the same time, choose the second one! Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.”
When it comes to love, it’s a must to find the right kind of emotional and mental connection. When you do, latch on to it and nurture it. It’s when you don’t really have that connection with your partner that a second person comes along dressed up as everything your partner isn’t and all that you’ve wished for.
Compare and Contrast
Compare your connections. Do a detailed analysis of the two loves in your life. What are the pros and cons of being with each? At different stages in life, we require different things from lovers. Do you feel like you’ve outgrown your first love? Will the second love be a good companion for your next life stage? If you feel like you’ve outgrown your partner, that may be the reason why you’re welcoming another lover into your life.
Tolerating the Distance
A lot of people tolerate the distance they feel from their partners and choose to live with it. But what they don’t realize is that they are doing something terrible to themselves (and their partners). If you tolerate the distance, you turn into an emotionally hollow person and this changes your outlook on love.
If you love two people, don’t ignore it. Don’t give up on the happiness you could have with someone else for a relationship commitment that is no longer working for you. They could be a coworker, neighbor or close friend. They could be your high school crush who’s suddenly back in your life.
More Than Just Lust
Please note, this feeling you have has to me more than just lust. You have to make sure you actually love two people! If it is more than lust, it needs to be given a chance to thrive if real love is important to you. You’ve fallen for someone else, and you need to search your feelings and find out why. What if they are the love of your life? Are you going to let an unhappy relationship get in your way? Are you going to let them pass you by? I’m not telling you to leave your partner, ruin someone’s life and abandon all your responsibilities. I’m asking you to consider what you may be missing in your current relationship and investigate what makes you really happy. All it takes is a little courage.