Breaking Up is a process. They say that “Time Heals All Wounds”. The fact is that breaking up hurts and not everyone can recover.
These tips will help you overcome it.
FIRE: Grab a pen and two pieces of paper. On one page, write down everything you will not miss about this relationship. This list includes snoring, mouth open chewing, and boring family members. Be honest and truthful. No one is perfect and not everything about another person will be right for you, this list is the place for all of that.
On the other page write down all the best dreams you had for the relationship. Write down silly visions of running through the daisies and the more meaningful things too, like holding hands through your happily ever after.
Take both sheets of paper, a candle, and a bowl with a little water in the bottom outside. Tear a strip at a time from the pages, light each strip. As it burns say these words: “And this I now allow to go”, and carefully drop the strip into the water. Strip, by strip, burn both pages.
When you have finished, dump the water under a bush or tree as an offering with these words: “To nourish you now, what I no longer need.”
WATER: Fill the bath tub with hot water and about a half cup of table salt. Use your favorite fragrance or candles if you like. As you settle into the tub remind yourself that water absorbs. See the hot, salty water absorbing the remains of the relationship. Lie back and cry or be angry or jealous or hopeless. Let whatever needs to come up, come up. Allow the bath to absorb all of those feelings. Let the salty water draw it right out of your skin.When you have finished, watch as the water drains away. Motion your hand toward the drain with these words: “And this too may now go.” Watch it all drain away and then pamper yourself with a scented lotion or a cup of something soothing.
CUT THOSE CORDS: Energy connects us like string, it makes cords between us and another person. Dump a handful of table salt into the toilet bowl. Use an Arrowhead if you have one, or a dull butter knife will do fine. Run the palm of your hand across your belly and grab at the hip as if you are holding a bundle of cords. Symbolically, cut those cords with your knife and drop them in the toilet. Do the same across your heart and the small of your back and anywhere else where it feels right. Cut those cords and when you are done, flush them away. Bye, bye now.
Breaking up is real grief and it is a process. Repeat these steps as often as needed to help your mind learn to grow beyond who you have been and on to the next journey of the heart.
I appreciate the creativity behind these tips, but they do seem a bit too new-age for my taste. Practical advice like keeping busy or talking to others might be more universally applicable.
Interesting article. The suggestions seem to be more symbolic than practical, but that doesn’t mean they might not help someone process their emotions.
While these suggestions are unique, I’d argue that a balanced approach involving both emotional processing and practical steps is crucial. Also curious, what is an Arrowhead? Seems like not everyone might have that handy.
An Arrowhead is a type of stone tool that some people use in spiritual practices. You’re right though, a butter knife might be more accessible for most individuals.
The concept of ‘cutting cords’ is intriguing, although it’s not clear how effective it would be for everyone. People have different ways of coping, and for some, more tangible actions might be more beneficial.
I can see how these rituals might be comforting for some. However, it’s important to also seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if needed. Healing is a multifaceted process.
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